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Walking on egg shells !
Walking on egg shells! Has anyone ever told you, that's how they feel
around you? If they have, it's a huge red flag and one that should not
be ignored. It needs to be dealt with immediately.
Relationships are a tough challenging part of our lives. Especially
when dealing with matters of the heart. As truly good as they make you
feel, they can in turn tear you apart from the inside in a heartbeat.
When the red flags start to rise up, that's when your relationship is
crying out for help. You need to address it, as if a baby was crying
out to you.
When someone says they feel like they are walking on egg shells, what
is that telling you? It's telling you :
that they can no longer be themselves in your presence.
that they fear your reaction whenever they speak.
that they are stuck, that they cannot move in either direction, for
fear of upsetting you.
It is also telling you that they need to stop this feeling that is
tearing them apart.
Many of us are guilty for causing these prison bars that surround our
loved ones.
We do not even realize that our own fears are doing this to them. We
are so caught up in ourselves that we are blind to the world that we
have created for them.
Through our own fears we hear what they say in all the wrong
languages. We interpret them through our weaknesses and turn what they
say all upside down.
Some of us react irrationally, forcing our partner to either take
cover and hide or even worse become irrational themselves. This is
when we both become deaf and blind. When the relationship war begins,
there are no winners, only victims. What once was love, kisses and
smiles has turned into an ugly vicious battle ground of snarls, hate,
and searching for the lowest hit we can aim for. Wow, how does this
happen so fast? We as humans are notorious for ruining so many very
good things out of pure bad habits.
No one wants to lose or be the one saying, "I am sorry" every five
minutes, nor should a real relationship become a win/lose situation
either. Who wants to walk on egg shells? Then again, no one wants to
have to defend their every breathe to someone they thought loved them
unconditionally and are committed to. Walking on egg shells sucks!
If we cannot be ourselves with the one we love, then who can we be
that with? This is not to say that a person should disrespect the
other. When you know that something troubles the other person or makes
them feel truly uncomfortable, it should go without saying that it is
just not done. That is true respect. Why would you want to do
something to hurt your best friend or even make your loved one feel
out of place?
In new relationships it does take time to get things organized as in
any new situation. Moving into a new house, a new job, having a baby,
or even planning a trip, we have to reorganize to accommodate our now
lives. Committing to another person is just the beginning of the book.
It is just the title. Now you have to write the story and yes, make a
few corrections along the way on both parts, but the trick is to
constantly compare each others notes. Remember this: staying on the
same page is what your relationship is all about.
When we make a commitment to another person through love, we are
taking on a responsibility to share our love and life with that
person. We are silently telling them that we are now going to take in
consideration their feelings as well as our own.
Your once single-self life has now become a two-self life. This does
not mean that you stop breathing and living. It just means that you
are now sharing your life with this chosen person. It opens up a whole
new world of respect. Remember also that you cannot gain respect if
you do not offer respect. Life becomes a definite two-way street when
two hearts are involved. There are also two minds working in this
relationship now; two minds that are of opposite genders, two minds
that will collide now and then. This is not a bad thing. We need to
have differences to add spice to our lives.
Be very careful of starting the "Poor Me", habit. This is another
relationship red flag to watch for. Remember, walking on egg shells?
If one partner becomes so caught up in their own worries and fails to
share this with their partner, it will sneak in between you both and
begin to build a very strong wall of negative habits. If you have read
any of my other articles, you will know these negative habits well,
jealousy, mistrust, low self-esteem and total loneliness.
When your partner begins to feel they are slipping away from you, grab
on and do not for a minute take that red flag for granted. Listen hard
to their worries and love them more, not necessarily better. Just show
more of your love. If they keep slipping away, then there is either
nothing left to save or they need help outside of your relationship.
It is so important to know your partner. Only then can you realize
when they are in trouble. Do not allow your relationship to become the
wallpaper in your house. No one wants to be a wallflower. No one with
any self-respect that is.
Another great phrase I hear all the time is, "Door Mat syndrome". Oh
this is a very bad thing for couples to allow to take hold of their
relationship. In many cases one partner has taken hold of it and falls
into a control habit. This is something that plagues many
relationships. When does one partner become the owner? I will use that
word because it shows possession and control. This happens because it
can. Some one has allowed this ownership to take place. STOP allowing
this, please. A partnership, relationship, commitment, whatever you
want to call it, is an EQUAL understanding of respect and love. There
are no owners and no bosses. No one is above the other. Man should
respect woman and vice-verse. This is a must in order to make a
relationship strong enough to not allow negative habits any control.
When there are no negative habits, there is no walking on eggshells.
How much more simpler can it get. We are an intelligent species, so
let us act intelligent when we decide to commit to another person.
This is two lives we are dealing with here, not just another Hollywood
movie. We are all going to age and all of us are going to notice our
body parts going south. Guess what, no one is above that law. When you
have found a true love, and are willing to invest your life with that
person, please do not allow material things or negative fantasy ideals
to come between you. It really is not worth it.
When you feel unsure of something ,or you feel negative emotions
taking control of your mind, reach out to your partner. Don't walk on
egg shells. Do not turn it into a war against your partner. Use all of
your love to fight the negative relationship habits. Love is worth it.
We all have our good and bad days. Some have more than others. So when
it's a good day, then make it a really good day. Those are always
remembered the longest. Don't walk on egg shells. We have to love
ourselves first, then and only then can we love another!
Tell each other often what you saw in each other, what you see now.
Being reminded why we are "The One" helps us to act that way.
-Toni Sciarra Poynter
About the Author
Dorothy Lafrinere
Owner/Operator
Website- http://www.womensselfesteem.com
Weblog- http://www.justblogme.com/Dorothy
Forum- http://womenselfesteem.proboards29.com
email- dorothy@womensselfesteem.com
Written by: Dorothy Lafrinere
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