Home
List of Articles
|
 |
Caring For Dependent Relatives - Survival Guide
Caring for dependent relatives, often elderly parents or
handicapped children, can be one of the most isolating
experiences most people ever have to face. Becoming a carer can
sometimes be rewarding, but it's hardly ever easy. Here are some
tips to help you to survive it.
1. Get all the help and benefits you can.
Many people are too proud to ask for help, and many more don't
even know what help's available. In the UK, for example, it's
believed that £750 million of benefits available to carers are
unclaimed.
No matter how much you love the person that you're caring for,
in terms of both lost income and financial outlay, caring costs
you, big-time. Many people aren't aware of how much till they're
in financial difficulty. If you don't know what's available to
you, ask your doctor where you can find out.
It's not just about money, either. Sometimes practical help,
like wheelchairs, disabled access ramps, hand-rails and alarm
buttons, can be made available at no cost, or at least reduced
rates.
2. Get all the emotional and practical support you can,
too.
Caring can be a very lonely life, and friends can start to
disappear when you're not so readily available for evenings out,
etc.
Even those who stay the course can find it hard to listen to the
things you feel the need to talk about, and you're likely to
find their conversation very trivial compared to what you're
dealing with.
It's a good idea to have the company at least occasionally of
people who understand because they're doing what you're doing.
If there's a local support group, it's a good idea to check it
out - if not, it's worth looking for a carers' discussion group
online.
3. Make sure you get some time off.
This is absolutely vital, and not likely to be offered unless
you make a point of saying that you need it.
It's no reflection on your abilities as a carer, or your love
for the person that you're caring for, but you need to take at
least some care of yourself if you're going to take effective
care of anybody else.
Try to arrange for someone to take your place for a few hours at
the weekend, for example, or else to get the person that you're
caring for into a day center for a couple of afternoons a week.
You might be able to arrange for respite care, as well, which
means the person that you're caring for is taken into hospital
for one or two weeks every year to let you have a holiday.
This is not being selfish, merely realistic. Caring for someone
can very tiring, both physically and emotionally, so you need to
be able to recharge your batteries as often as you can.
4. Keep up some interests of your own, and make sure you
have at least some social life, even if it's mainly
chatting to your friends by phone or e-mail.
Caring can very easily come to dominate your life, and if you
have no other interests to give you a balanced perspective your
morale can very quickly go to pieces. Many carers understandably
fall victim to depression, and you won't do yourself or the
person that you care for any favors by becoming one of them.
It can be hard to organize, but try to spend at least a little
time each day doing something for yourself, even if it's just
spending an hour reading while the person that you're caring for
is sleeping. You have a life, as well, and the right to
some enjoyment.
5. It's important that you keep your self-esteem high.
Caring is demanding, and it's all too easy to let your mind fill
with the difficulties of your situation rather than all the good
things you're achieving in it.
Focus each day on something that's gone well for you. It doesn't
matter if it's quite a small thing - all carers know that even a
small victory in such a demanding situation is a great
achievement.
Relax deeply every day to banish stress, and train yourself to
flood your mind with pleasant images before you go to sleep. It
takes some practice, but it's the best way of waking up
refreshed and ready for the new day.
Above all, don't be too hard on yourself if you feel you're not
the perfect carer. No-one is. All you can do is the best that
you can do. No-one can ask for more.
About the author:
Aislinn O'Connor is a motivational writer and personal
development consultant. You can check out her books, audio
self-development tools and much more self-help information at http://www.Acc
ess-Your-Peak-Performance-Zone.com">http://www.access-your-peak-performance-zone.com">http://www.Acc
ess-Your-Peak-Performance-Zone.com.
Written by: Aislinn O'Connor
|
|
Recent Articles
Mental illness can Influence the Erectile Power of Men
A mental illness is a psychiatric disorder that results in a disruption in a person's thinking, feeling, moods, and ability to relate to others. Mental illness is distinct from the legal concept of insanity. It also implies a large degree of...
The Communal Sharing of Enchantment
Mentoring and learning from each other is much more that taking a course or explicitly giving someone advice or help. Almost every moment of every day when we are with people has the potential for becoming a mentoring or a learning situation. ...
The Universal Connection
Do you believe in random coincidence? Or, do you think that there is some destiny involved when things magically 'come together'?
I believe in a phenomenon I have been known to call a 'Universal connection'. Yesterday one of these destined...
Words Have Power
How many times have you heard or read that words have power? Maybe it was in the context of working 'magic' or 'positive affirmations' or visualization techniques and you just dismissed it as more of that 'psychic hooha'. Well, in my humble...
|
